Auntie, Please Stop Slurring

Once upon a time, broadcasters on the BBC were noted for the clarity of their speech. Sadly, those days appear to be well and truly over - I've noticed of late there are two particular mispronounciations that are occurring with ever-increasing frequency:

1. Properly is often pronounced as "proply"

and

2. Police often sounds more like "pleece"

I know that English is an evolving language, but this isn't evolution - it's just sloppiness.

Per Ardua ad Astra

Exactly fifteen years ago today, NASA resumed space shuttle flights after the horrific Challenger disaster of 1986. Now we find ourselves in the middle of another shuttle-flight hiatus following this year's equally tragic loss of Columbia. Perhaps it's time for a few reflections regarding manned spaceflight.

This is inherently very risky and it will inevitably cost more lives. Never forget though, that in a very real sense we come from the stars. The elements of which are bodies are composed were actually forged in the hearts of long-dead stars, therefore it is only right that one day we will want to go back.

In memory of every astronaut who lost his or her life in this quest for the future.

Hear Hear M'Lud

In 1997, a five year old boy strayed away from his mother during a school sports day, and went into a playground. There he played "Superman" on the swings and, predictably, fell off - unfortunately breaking his arm.

Earlier this year the parents took the school to court and were awarded £4000 damages. The school appealed against this and a high court judge has overturned the verdict and ordered the child's parents to pay the school's court costs.

To my mind, this is a good thing. We seem to be living in an increasingly litigious society and we're all paying the costs of this in ever-increasing insurance premiums. It's nice to see the application of a bit of good old-fashioned common sense...

Remember Remember ...

There's been a distinct autumnal nip in the air these last couple of days - hardly surprising as it's nearly the end of September! As it happens, I like autumn - season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, etc - but it's not all good news.

In just under six weeks time we have Guy Fawkes night to endure. Personally, I enjoy watching a good fireworks display, but can't see the pleasure in letting off a few in your own garden. It costs an arm and a leg for even a small display box and they hardly last for long either. I really think that it's time to confine this to organised displays only. Think how many needless injuries this could prevent...

Who does he think he is ?

Having recently had a pop at Labour ( Oi,Blunkett - NO! on 22/9/03) and the Liberal Democrats ( Remember What you're There For on 19/9/03 ) it's now time to turn my attention to the Conservatives...

David Willetts, the shadow work and pensions secretary, is worried that rising numbers of older people will have an adverse affect on economic gowth over the next half-century. See here for the full story.

This is a certainly going to be a problem which requires some consideration and, of course, Mr Willetts has an answer: he feels that we should have more children - presumably to supply a new generation of worker drones, whose purpose in life I must assume will be to support this "demographic timebomb" of a steadily ageing population.

The decision over whether or not to have children is for individuals alone to make. It is in no way something for a headline hunting opposition politician to pronounce upon. Mr Willetts may well be able to support a large family on his MP's salary, not to mention the rather nice pension arrangements our elected representatives have voted for themselves, but many of us do not have the same amount of fiscal support...

For the record, Mr Willetts, my wife and I neither have, nor want, any children ...

Oi, Blunkett - NO !

So, our not especially beloved home secretary would like us all to have compulsory ID cards. I'm totally against this - I carry all sorts of plastic around anyway, much of which shows exactly who I am, and really don't want any more.

Apparently it wouldn't be necessary to have the card with you at all times, which to my mind reduces its value a fair bit in any case. Presumably, any wrongdoer asked to pop down to the local cop-shop to show his card will resist the temptation to disappear instead, meekly trooping along to have his collar felt!

I have another practical objection to this half-baked idea. There will have to be a national database to hold all your ID information. In the event that it gets hacked into - and this WILL happen - your identity could be "stolen" and used to your detriment...

Remember what you're there for..

Next week the Liberal democrats troop down to Brighton, marking the start of the political party conference season. Could I take this opportunity to remind the delegates who will attend - not only this, but all the other conferences as well - that you aren't there for a jolly or to indulge in a few days' navel-contemplation. Your purpose should be to appeal to the likes of me - the floating voter - to decide the future course our country will follow. I know the next general election's not due for a while, but if it did happen now, my cross would, should such a thing be possible, go into the "none of the above" box. I'd be very surprised if I'm the only one who feels this way, and that can't be a good thing...

We Are The Champions !

Congratulations to the Sussex cricket team. They've won the championship at last !

Of Course They Should Prosecute

There's a report on the BBC about a house in Lancashire from which the RSPCA have just rescued more than 250 animals from the most appalling conditions. Apparently they are now considering whether or not to prosecute those responsible. THROW THE BOOK AT THEM...

Was God's Dad Egyptian ?

This isn't as far-fetched as it sounds.

As far as I'm aware, the first monotheistic religion arose around 1340 BC in ancient Egypt. Around that time the 18th dynasty's "heretic pharoah" Akhenaten changed Egypt's religion, with its vast and colourful panoply of deities, to worship solely of the Aten, or solar disc. However, soon after Akhenaten died, Egypt reverted to its ancient religious practices.

Now go forward fifty to a hundred years or so. Egypt's empire has just about reached its zenith, under two of its greatest rulers - the early 19th dynasty pharoahs, Seti I, followed by his son Ramses II. Egypt's polytheistic culture is largely as it's been for centuries and Akhenaten and his new religion are officially forgotten.

However, this appears to be about the time when the exodus of the Hebrews from Egypt on their journey to Israel began. It's interesting that just a couple of generations after Egypt's religious upheaval, another monotheistic religion comes to prominence and I can't help but wonder if it's just coincidence...

Is Imitation the sincerest form of Flattery?

I've just seen the trailer for the recent Hollywood remake of the Italian Job. It left me wondering why they bothered. The original film is a classic - I've seen it umpteen times, still enjoy it and fail to see why it needed to be "updated". I realise that some of the humour is a bit "British", but I can manage to enjoy many American comedies - surely our transatlantic cousins don't find our sense of humour THAT impenetrable?

9-11 Two Years On

It's exactly two years ago that Al-Qaeda struck the heart of New York. I can vividly remember sitting in the office that afternoon and being shocked as the news came in, indeed I think this will become an event that people will always recall in the way that older generations remember hearing about the assassination of President Kennedy. Incidentally, I personally don't remember what I was doing when that news story broke, probably because I was just under seven months old at the time!

Let's take stock of what's happened since then. The invasion of Afghanistan I can more or less understand - I do think that the Taliban was aiding Al-Qaeda and can see a justification for the action. To my mind, 9/11 did, after all amount to an act of war. However, the invasion of Iraq I do have a problem with. Whatever weapons of mass destruction Saddam Hussein may or may not have had, I do not believe that his regime was involved in the World Trade Center attack. This begs the question, why did The US invade Iraq and I can think of two possible answers;

1. It's a revenge thing - After Bush senior's Iraq war he lost the subsequent presidential election. Does his son see this as unfinished business?

2. This is the one I think is for the conspiracy theorists. The 9/11 hijackers, were, as Bin Laden himself is, Saudi Arabian. Could it possibly be that the US is contemplating action against the Saudis? Having access to Iraq's enormous oilfields would sure come in handy ...

I can see some laudable aims in a US attempt to impose a "Pax Americana". However, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and I fear this course of action could bring more tragedies, not less.

Towards a United States of Europe?

I note that we can expect more debate on the future of the EU, following the publication of an outline for its development, the "Convention on the Future of Europe". Given that neither of our two main political parties seem over enthusiastic for further European integration, I expect we'll have little constructive to add to the debate.

This, in my opinion, is a shame. The world, like it or not, has one global superpower - the United States. Perhaps a strongly united Europe might, in my opinion, form a useful counterbalance. Unfortunately, since the acrimony preceding the Iraq invasion, I fear that in political terms most of Europe wouldn't listen to anything we have to say, much less agree with us even if we do try to be positive...

It's My Trumpet and I'll Blow it if I Want to !

Just participated in the BBC's Test The Nation general knowledge quiz - allegedly the world's biggest quiz - anywhere, ever. I must say I'm pleased with my result - 62/70, a quiz quotient of 139, putting me in the top 1%. Mind you, all I think it proves is that I read too much and should get out more !

UPDATE I may need to curb the trumpet playing a bit. I saw a friend whilst walking our dogs this morning and he's beaten me - 64/70 - GIT !

This Man Needs his Head Examined

I'm saddened to hear that in Essex yesterday, one Nicholas Geri won a local council bye-election for the loathsome BNP. What I find surprising to find out is that he's the grandson of an immigrant. Surely he should want nothing to do with that party, much less represent it ?

What is Britishness anyway?

In the news yesterday were government proposals requiring immigrants applying for British citizenship to face a "Britishness" test. This would contain questions on a wide range of topics covering life in the UK, from principles of parliamentary democracy to youth culture. I personally do not have a problem with this idea, however I do wonder how many of us who were born here would fail the test if we were required to sit it !

Freezer bag broken ?

Looks as if the QinetiQ1 high-altitude flight could be off - possibly due to problems with the balloon's envelope. I hope they resolve this quickly, but it's likely that anything more than a brief hold-up could take them past the end of this years weather window. Best of luck guys...

UPDATE: It does look as if the balloon's envelope is damaged - irreparably - and the record attempt's off for the forseeable future.

The Happiest Days of Our Lives

Around this time of year thousands of children will go to school for the first time. I still remember my first day, though I've no recollection of a story my mum tells, wherein she brought me home at the end of that day and I assumed that was it - I'd been to school, and didn't need to go again !

I'm glad, of course, that I did! Before very long they started to teach me what I believe is the most important thing of all - reading. I took to this in a big way and if there's a cure for the habit - I don't want it!

I did enjoy school pretty much all the way through. I received what I reckon was a very good education and I was lucky enough to have some very good teachers. As I look back over it all now, I'd like to thank them...

The World's Highest Freezer Bag ?

As I write, two British balloonists are making their final preparations for an attempt on the world manned balloon altitude record. Andy Elson and Colin Prescot hope to take their balloon QinetiQ 1 to an altitude of over 130,000 feet - which at 25 miles, is half way to space by the USAF definition.

Doing this in a open platform, suspended below an enormous gasbag made of a material with the consistency of a domestic freezer-bag must require a special brand of courage. Mind you, it must be worth it for the view as you look down. I've gone to about 3000ft in a hot air balloon and that was impressive enough, but this will be in another league altogether!

Fly High, guys !